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Showing posts from February, 2018

#24 Slowly Slowly, Catch a... Dressage Pony

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In the words of David Gray, ‘My, oh my.’ What an absolute little SUPERSTAR Flora was at the dressage today. She makes my heart want to burst sometimes. Other times, I want to punch her in the nose (which I would never EVER do, by the way...just so we’re clear); but today was one of those days when I think I couldn’t possibly love her any more. No, we’re not the perfect pair. I’m too soft. I can’t keep my hands in the right place. My right leg slips back. I tip forwards. She’s a bit stiff behind, opinionated to juuuuust the right side of naughtiness and, as a pair, I’m a tad too lanky for her (5’7” on a 15.3hh mare). But... We both hate dressage; yet the effort we have been putting in since the new year, actually trying to deal with our dressage demons, has been significant. And though we didn’t QUITE make the placings in our class today - which was a tough one featuring some good combinations - we did increase our percentage score (from our first ever attempt last month) by a

#23 Dressage Test Blackout

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Unaffiliated Prelim again, but this time, it’s the second Prelim class of the day rather than the first. Simply due to the fact we’re relying on a lift from a very helpful, lorry-owning friend, partaking in the final class of the day. And therefore, we are attempting to make the smallest nuisance of ourselves possible. Anyway, anyone who read my post after our last attempt might remember that my biggest issue was the big, fat, inevitable MEMORY LOSS 🧠❌. And that was a simple test. This one, even though it’s the same bloody level, is complex! Not in terms of the movements, just the basic route around the arena🙈. Hence, I am sitting with a Merlot, drawing silly little diagrams whilst trying to visualise the test without looking down at the paper. Like some kind of weird spiritual medium, allowing the Dressage Gods to use my unworthy, shite-at-dressage body as a vessel to communicate the test to the paper. It’s not the first time this kind of mental powercut has occurred eithe

#22 Carrot Stretches Should Be Easier Than This

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Putting 'carrot stretches' into a Google search reveals myriad images of successful attempts. Horses reaching into muscle-elasticating poses; contorting into others that release other parts of their anatomy. And, let's face it... why shouldn't they? How hard can it be to use a long, juicy carrot to encourage your horse to do this for the good of their physical wellbeing? Well, let me tell you. It's not that easy. I have nearly lost digits as a result of this exercise. The carrot stretch ponies of  the internet are like these Instagram stars with their own fitness pages. They're good at it, They're glam. They'll do anything for a healthy snack. They reach, gradually, into their stretch, tentatively mouthing at the yummy treat and holding the pose for long enough to feel the long term benefit. Flora, on the other hand, treats carrot stretches like a petulant child with zero resilience. She tries for mere nanoseconds. She snatches at the carrot (fa